Sabi nila, life is so short para malungkot. Malungkot sa bagay na akala mo eh sobrang bigat na, na akala mo ikaw na ang pinakamalas na tao sa mundo at nangyari yun sayo. Kasi ano nga ba mangyayari kung sagadin mo sarili mo sa lungkot? Pero sabi nila, ifeel mo lang daw yung pain, sagadin mo hanggang lungs. Yung tipong, feeling mo lahat na lang ng broken love songs eh parinig sayo. Tulad ng “Breakeven” na kay daming nakakarelate.

His best days will be some of my worst. He finally got a girl that’s gonna put him first. 

Ay anak ng, masasabi mo na lang, “The Script, I can hear you singing my life.” Tapos wala kang ibang gagawin kundi icompare ang sarili mo sa ‘bago’ daw niya. Na papadamihin mo ang ‘mas’ sayo kesa sa kanya. Ay teh, ano bang mangyayari pag napatunayan mong ‘mas’ ka nga sa kanya? Sasaya ka? At siya? Malulungkot? Syempre hindi! Nasa kanya ang trophy, bat siya malulungkot? Magiging bitter ka lang. Kaya tama na ang comparison dahil kahit saang korte tayo makadating eh talagang ‘mas’ ka sa kalaban mo basta nanay, tatay, at mga kaibigan mo kausap mo.

Back to reality ka na lang na talo ka pa din. Kaya dadali ka ngayon sa mga lines na “Hindi ko kaya ‘to.” “FML.” “I just want to be happy, bat ang unfair ni mr. life?” “Ang malas malas ko.” “I just wanna sleep all day.” “Waking up is the hardest part. Sana di na lang ako gumising.” “I wanna die.” Bongga! Kung makapagdrama, parang nasa prime time bida lang ah, oh eto ang trophy ng Best Actress! Award ka! Eh kaso, buhay ka pa din at sawi. Ano nang gagawin mo ngayon?

Alam mo naman diba? Alam na alam mo yan. Ayaw mo lang gawin.

Pero dadating ka din sa point na sawa ka na magemote. Magpost ng kung anong anong kadramahan sa buhay. Kasi nakakabuwang lang diba? Nakakaubos ng dugo. Nakakatuyot ng brain cells. Nakakagutom. Nakakagutom. Nakakagutom.

Dont worry, it takes time talaga. Pwedeng years na ang lumipas, ganyan ka pa din, na para bang pentium poor ang naikabit dyan sa puso mo at sobrang bagal ng processing. Kung maswerte ka naman at may dial-up connection na nakakabit dyan sayo, malay mo maka 1 buwan, ok ka na. O kung mayaman ka at naka DSL ka, 1 week, solve na yan! Pero meron din namang overnight lang eh okay na, yung mga taong akala ata eh swimming lang ang nangyari. Mabilis man o mabagal ang processing mo, isa lang ang tawag dyan. Alam mo na yun!

Tapos mafefeel mo na lang na ready ka ng maging masaya. Yung totoong saya, yung walang halong kaplastikan. No more hatred and bitterness. Pag ganun, eh ituloy tuloy mo na hanggang sa finish line. Wag mo na hayaang may sumabotahe pa ng good feeling na yan. Buhay mo yan, kontrol mo yan. Ikaw din, mahirap mag back to zero. Papangit ka lang sa stress. Kaya pasayahin mo sarili mo. Matuto ka magpatawad, tanggapin ang katotohanan, at maging masaya na din sa ibang tao. Wag ka mag-alala may tumutulong naman sayo eh. Siya. Yung nasa taas. Not a bird. Not a plane. Not Superman. Him. Tunay yan, di ka Niya pinapabayaan, kapit lang.

Drown yourself in positive vibes. Tandaan mo, sabi ni Lolo Mario sa Coca-cola, Ipinanganak ka para maging masaya” :)

Kahit naman medyo wala na yung bitterness. That feeling is still there. Yung feeling na, ako dapat ‘yun eh. Ako dapat yung bingyan niya. Or rather, kung ako ba yun, bibigyan din niya? 

Pero, anyway, masaya ako na ok ka. Srsly. Yung feeling na, nagbabatian na tayo ngayon. *thumbsup* :)

It’s this time of my life again when music is my only friend. Finding song/s that fits the situation a little too perfectly makes me feel that I’m not alone. It is indeed true that when words fail, music speaks.

 

Knew the signs
Wasn’t right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn’t see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You’ll be out of my mind
And I’ll be over you

 

every line and every words. hey song, speak for me.

Whats up?
I know we haven’t spoken for a while
But I was thinkin bout you
And it kinda made me smile
So many things to say
And I’ll put em in a letter
Thought it might be easier
The words might come out better
How’s your mother, how’s your little brother?
Does he still look just like you?
So many things I wanna know the answers to
Wish I could press rewind
And rewrite every line
To the story of me and you

 

Don’t you know I’ve tried and I’ve tried
To get you out my mind
But it don’t get no better
As each day goes by
And I’m lost and confused
I’ve got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I’m still not over you
Still not over you

 

Excuse me, I really didn’t mean to ramble on
But there’s a lot of feelings that remain since you’ve been gone
I guess you thought that I would put it all behind me
But it seems there’s always somethin right there to remind me
Like a silly joke, or somethin on the t.v.
Boy it aint easy
When I hear our song
I get that same old feeling
Wish I could press rewind
Turn back the hands of time
And I shouldn’t be telling you

 

Did you know I kept all of your pictures
Don’t have the strength to part with them yet
Oh no…
Tried to erase the way your kisses taste
But some things a girl can never forget

 

 

Scrolling through my cellphone for the 20th time today 
Reading that text you sent me again 
Though I memorized it anyway

It was an afternoon in December
When it reminded you of the day
When we bumped into each other
But you didn’t say hi cause I looked away

And maybe that was the biggest mistake of my life
And maybe I haven’t moved on since that night

Cause it’s 12:51 and I thought my feelings were gone 
But I’m lying on my bed, thinking of you again
And the moon shines so bright, but I gotta dry these tears tonight
Cause you’re moving on and I’m not that strong to hold on any longer

Then I saw you with her
Didn’t think you’d find another
And the world just seemed to crash
Shouldn’t have thought this would last

As the sky outside gets brighter
And my eyes begin to tire
I’m slowly drowning 
In memories of him

And I know it shouldn’t matter
As my heart begins to shatter
I’m left to wonder
Just how it should have been

12:51 and I thought my feelings were gone
But I’m lying on my bed, I’m not thinking of you again
And the moon shines so bright, but I gotta dry these tears tonight
Cause you’re moving on and I’m not that strong to hold on

Cause I’ll prove you wrong that I can move on through this song
So much stronger

Yung feeling na lubog ka, 6 feet under. Yung tipong sana maging invisible ka na lang sa mga oras na yun. Yung feeling na hindi mo dapat ipahalata na affected ka. Yung feeling na kelangan mong tumawa para kunwari, masaya ka. Yung feeling na, am i not good enough? Yung feeling na, #tanginalangs, masakit po.

I gotta ask, do you ever think about us?

listen, I just gotta get this off my chest. am I the only one with feelings that never left?

but whatever we went through, how love turned into anger. It’s killing me inside ’cause now we’re just strangers. 

Tell me honestly, am I the one you’re missing? 

‘Cause what we could of had, it could of been beautiful…

I tried so hard not to slip
but you became a part of me I can’t resist
and even though we went our separate ways
and you’re happy where you are but for me 
You’re the one I miss 

I promised myself that I wouldn’t call
’cause I know what I’m doing ain’t good at all 
and even though it’s been quite a while
and you’re good where you are but for me…
You still exist..

I hope you think good of me every time I’m mentioned 

but look at us now.. we don’t even talk 
it’s like we never happened and everything was lost
I see you movin’ on and I should do the same
but have you ever wondered, love..what if you stayed?

what if you stayed and never called it quits
I guess that’s a dream that I’ll never get to live

It’s this time of my life again. broken. hurt. disappointed. lost.

2011 ended not that good, and 2012 started also not that good.

Nevertheless, I don’t have any regrets because at one point in the relationship, we were happy.

Everything happens for a reason and someday I will understand why this thing didn’t workout.

I’m not closing my doors, there’s still this little hope inside me but once I learned that there’s someone else, I will truly let go. of everything.

 

Something’s wrong. I know. I can feel it.

Would you mind to tell me?

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